Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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