my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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