More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
