i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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