the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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