she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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