saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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