WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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