Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
