VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
