may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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