She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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