THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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