At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
