Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
where does the pee come out of this thing
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
