quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
