guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
