Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
