Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
