Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
