Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
