mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he puts the penis in happiness.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
