Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
