I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
