I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
