I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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