I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i drank out of a bidet.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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