were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
