don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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