Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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