Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
