My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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