I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
