I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
