doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
