I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come share oat with me in your robe
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
