This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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