Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is wine microwaveable?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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