I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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