Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
