Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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