she was so not down for the gang bang
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
