K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
