clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
