if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
