I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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