come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
