if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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