is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
