hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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