Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
