im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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