True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
