hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
